One thing to keep in mind Eco is that most 2E parents on this board have reported at some point that their kids have been called "lazy", "unmotivated", "distracted", "disrespectful", "manipulative", etc. Many have been kept out of gifted programming or threatened with removal as a direct result of their disabilities.
My DD is considered the hardest working, most dedicated, focused kid they have ever seen by most people who "get" her, 2E and the extent of her challenges. I have been told over and over that she has to work 5 times harder than NT kids to get half the results. People who don't get it, though, feel a need to place her into some kind of familiar category. When she was younger the giftedness was obvious so if she wasn't writing, reading or doing math it was obviously a choice being made by a spoiled little snowflake with parents who were making excuses for her. As she has gotten older the disabilities have become more obvious so the high level comprehension abilities are just our fantasies because we can't accept the reality of her limitations.
DD is a sweet, kind, generous kid. People have explained to me over the years that this personality makes her vulnerable to bullying by both kids and adults. Teachers dismiss one E or the other, resent having to spend extra time and effort accommodating a situation they do not believe is real and often feel like it is up to them to teach these kids a lesson. Parents of "real special Ed kids" (ie those with Down's Syndrome or serious physical disabilities) have accused me of "taking advantage of the situation". Yeah - like I stay up at night thinking of ways to get some of those free OT services. I don't know how many people have made their fortunes on free OT services for their kids... (Insert eye roll here...)
If people don't believe your DS's situation is real or you are just asking for special treatment and your school district hasn't properly trained its staff in IDEA, FAPE and other special Ed law you are going to experience this sort of response when teachers or other staff are required to treat him differently. Sad but unfortunately true for too many 2E kids.
