Retaliation??? Oh yeah - big time.
My approach? I gave up trying to play nice or avoid being "that mom". I became that mom in a BIG way. I called teacher (or para or principal or nurse or administrator...) on the behavior Every. Single. Time. Pretty soon the pattern became clear and undeniable. It became obvious that it wasn't my imagination.
Eventually we identified a few key supporters who got it. I would bring my concerns to them and give them the opportunity to address it internally. My go to line became "I don't want to embarrass people in front of their colleagues. Really I don't. However if this is not addressed I will have no choice but to bring it up at the next [IEP meeting]." Usually it was addressed and these supporters worked to come up with a plan to protect DD. Pathetic it was necessary to protect a 2nd grader from a group of adults but that's what it came to.
I had to get tough to protect DD. Dept of Ed complaint, outside consultant, special Ed attorney - I did it all. Now we have a powerhouse team dedicated to DD and documentation out our eyeballs of just how extremely 2E DD is. No one would ever dream of treating her this way anymore. But we went through absolute he!! to get here.
