It seems incredibly cruel to the child to be pushed so aggressively. Why any parent would want to make their child look more gifted than they naturally are is a total mystery to me. The underlying message is, "You are unlovable just the way you are."
If you are in NYC, and the choices are
(1) get your 120-IQ child into the 130-IQ threshold public school gifted program with some preparation
(2) pay $40K annually for private school
(3) put your 120-IQ child in a public school where the average IQ is maybe 90
the appeal of option (1) is apparent. And even (2) may require preparation -- the elite private schools are both selective and expensive.
I stand by my original comment.
To your NYC-specific example, you're presenting only a subset of options. Nowhere on your list are advocacy, moving to a district where the mean is closer to your child's ability, afterschooling, a less expensive private school, partial homeschooling, homeschooling, virtual schooling, alternative schools, starting a school, tutors, or teaching cooperatives.
A 120 student will probably find the class with truly 130+ students too challenging, and it is unfair to all involved to force children into molds where they don't belong or to dilute standards for those with legitimate gifted needs. Also, I'm troubled by the doublespeak such parents would be teaching their children--"cheating is wrong, with the exception of the multitude of parentally-approved situations where cheating has a materially positive effect on your lifestyle." It's not only unethical, it coveys a misplaced disapproval of the child at a fundamental level.
The real solution, of course, is to demand that schools offer meaningful ability grouping to all students, and for parents to lovingly accept their children as they are. I appreciate that this isn't as expedient as jumping the queue and is a long-term strategy.
