It's a point that all parents should really be aware of with HG kids even if they aren't accelerated, truthfully.
I wasn't accelerated, but my own history is enough to scare me plenty.
The reason why I'm so... er...
conversant (ahem) on this area of the state code?
At fifteen I met Spouse 1.0 (the beta version), who was 22 at the time. Rather than
letting the relationship die its natural death-- when I turned 19, I made the colossal error of
marrying him. (ouch) My similarly gifted BFF married HER spouse at 19, too-- he's eleven years
her senior.
So I'm well aware of what DD is up against. I was also a very pretty but far too smart "trophy" for guys my own age, and frankly, not a few of those considerably older than me, too. Looking back, most of the guys my own age were looking at me as "unattainable" and "out of their league" rather than painfully lonely and awkward.
Unfortunately, being a
smart girl is really only okay in this particular venue if you also happen to be a
slutty girl. Of course, they still don't like you for YOU, exactly... so I don't really recommend THAT either. Otherwise, prepare yourself to be
persona non grata for a very long, and painful period of time unless you are willing to toady to a lot of troglodytic ego and coo audibly while batting your eyelashes. {sigh}
The underlying relationship between these two teens is mutual deep
respect (neither gives it lightly, nor suffers fools gladly) and affection that transcends the fascination of the moment. They've known one another for over four years now. I wonder if he's been waiting for her to grow up a bit, honestly. A third youngster was at one time my DD's first "boyfriend" (actually a mutual crush) a couple of years back-- so it's also possible that this was guy dynamics of "my friend's girl" or something.
It reassures me that DD is a good enough
friend to her potential beau to be concerned front and center about getting him into trouble. She is quite conscientious and loyal to a fault-- she'd be devastated if consensual activity resulted in horrible consequences for a partner via the legal system, and she knows that until she is
sixteen, it's AUTOMATIC (that is, not at OUR discretion to press charges or not) outside of the bounds of the R&J clause in our state, which is a 3y spread in age. This is
just at the edge of that... and probably would be considered differently since they have been classmates for so long (and are effectively "peers") but you also just never know below 16yo. Well, she knows that now, anyway. What's funny is that she was truly concerned that just being an ITEM would be enough to draw the attention of law enforcement. (LOL) No, honey-- nobody is going to jail for taking you out for a pizza or holding your hand on a walk. Man, am I ever glad that DH wasn't the one at the helm of the car when she mused about it, though. I'm more unflappable in the moment-- I was freaking out inside, but said, cool as you please; "Talk to me about this" rather than just driving off the road screaming when she mentioned statutory rape in a musing tone of voice.
She has to be responsible enough to have the "swapping spit" conversation first, anyway. Unfortunately that one cannot ever really be
spontaneous the way it can for most teens, because of the severity of her food allergies. LOTS of trust there for her-- it's an automatic litmus test for a partner. She's rejected all advances there thus far on the basis of "this isn't someone I trust that much." That ties into the trust and respect issue for her, too, and makes it hard for her to pretend to herself. People who truly "get" it well tend to be very very bright.
