You know, maybe some thoughtful books on gender issues would be helpful. I have a horrible memory of exactly what all of it was about, but I do remember Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own discussing gender identity to some extent and from a different-than-traditional perspective. Perhaps it's worth a look. I also thought there was some stuff (maybe essays on the Davidson site??) about gender identity in the gifted, along the lines of some gifties tend to find traditional gender roles identity distasteful (just the female/male role stuff, mainly; not as far out there as transgender, etc.). I hope she can work through this in a positive way.