blackcat, have you tried connecting with a parent advocate? There are groups in (I think) all 50 states that are funded by the Federal Govt (I think you're in the US - if not, ignore this bit of advice!). I found our local group by going to
www.wrightslaw and following the link to "Yellow Pages". You can scroll down to your state, where you'll find contact info for advocacy services. The parent advocate groups provide advice for parents advocating for accommodations and IEPs etc, and I relied on them quite a bit when we were initially advocating for accommodations and an IEP for our ds (DCD + expressive language disorder) as well as when we've had issues with our dd who has medical issues that require an IHP and is entitled to accommodations under Section 504. I've never needed more than some brief time on the phone consulting as different issues arise, but the advice is what made *all* the difference in helping me be successful. The advocates were familiar with local schools and local school staff, so they were able to alert me to the types of issues I would run into; they are familiar with state law and school district policy so they were able to give me the language to use to cut through the school's attempts to try to persuade me that my ds was "fine" and "needed nothing". If you haven't looked for an advocate in your area, it's definitely worth at least the few minutes to check and see if you have a group you can work with, especially given the info you've posted here about the challenges you're having with your school.
I would also continue advocating etc with school even though you're pursuing further medical diagnoses - you have enough info now with the neuropsych report citing TBI as well as DCD that you should be able to get accommodations built into your ds' IEP or get a 504 plan in place for handwriting etc.
polarbear
