blackcat, I have some questions - they may be in somewhat random order, but here goes:
Does your ds have a diagnosis of DCD from the neuropsych?
I think there are two separate things you are attempting to advocate for - services for ... and accommodations for handwriting. I would try to look at these separately in terms of how you advocate, even though the physical/neurological cause of the challenges is most likely related.
I would also recommend that you separate out what you need/can request from school and what your ds needs for life. There is going to most likely be a limit to what you can get at any point in time from school, but you also want to be sure you're getting your ds the remediation he needs now and that you understand the accommodations he will need now and in the future so you can have a path set up to get him where he needs to be on time, rather than lagging behind because you are fighting the school and hoping for them to carry the full load of getting him there. It helped us to have a plan laid out that let us look forward knowing where our ds would need to be in high school and as an adult re accommodations when he was still in early elementary, because we were able to move in that direction from the beginning rather than playing catch up. There are a lot of things for handwriting accommodations you can do at home such as practicing typing whether or not your school is on board yet.
Re accommodations - you should be able to receive these with the diagnosis of DCD. Even though your ds' IEP may be for a different diagnosis/challenge, you would roll the DCD accommodations for handwriting into the same IEP (or at least that's what you would do in our school district). If he doesn't have an IEP, you would apply for accommodations under a 504 plan.
"What would they do with a kid who can understand long division, but has motor skills like a preschooler."
You would use a computer or iPad or some type of keyboard to type out the long division problem. There are a number of different options for doing this. If the school doesn't have a keyboard or computer or whatever that allows your ds to do this to show his knowledge, you can request that you send one in with your ds if you have one you're willing to send it. There are many different ways parents can get around this access to AT issue - so much depends on what you are able to do, what your school is willing to do etc - the solution is very individual but the *concept* is the same for all kids who struggle with handwriting (above and beyond typical grade level struggles) - remediate handwriting as suggested by professionals who have evaluated your child, but when it comes to subjects *other than handwriting* - take handwriting out of the picture. Use a keyboard so that the student can participate in the academics at the level he/she is capable of understanding, not limited by their fine motor skills.
"A kid who can read 4th grade level chapter books, but can't write a report about the book or draw a picture?"
I'll just add one note here - be sure the "can't write" is only due to fine motor - if it's due to other challenges with written expression you might want to request help or at least be sure the level of instruction your child is receiving at school is at the level he needs. It's not unusual for children with no challenges to be able to read higher level books than they can write a book report for.
I also think it's important when advocating to be aware of what level other children are working at - I'm guessing that it's possible your ds isn't the only 6 year old reading at a 4th grade level in his class or in his school. That's just my guess based on what I saw in my kid's classrooms in early elementary. The students who were the true outliers in reading ability were way ahead of 2-3 grade levels ahead. That doesn't mean your ds won't be way ahead or an outlier - you might see some huge leaps still ahead for him in reading - it's just my gut feeling that there are most likely a few other kids like him in his classroom now re reading ability, because reading abilities and levels have been all over the place in early elementary classrooms my kids have been in. I have also seen with one of my children that she enjoyed "reading" much higher level books than she was really fully comprehending - so before I assumed that difficulty with writing a book report was due to writing issues, I'd want to be sure the reading levels my dd was testing at at school lined up with what I saw her reading at home - if she was reading chapter books at home but not testing at that level at school... I'd want to dig a little deeper - is the testing off, or is the level measured by the school really where she's at re comprehension. I only mention that because I have one child (HG+) who always *always* picks higher level books to read at home than the level she's really at for writing book reports and fully comprehending content.
"Also, if anyone has any ideas about his speech, that would help too. It is slow and dysfluent and he has an odd prosody and pitch."
If your ds has DCD (also known as dyspraxia) - it's not uncommon to have speech challenges related to it. Try googling "apraxia of speech" or dyspraxia + speech. It sounds like what's going on with your school district SLP might be that the school district has a narrow range of types of speech challenges that they remediate, and your ds' challenge is something this particular SLP hasn't seen before or she is being pressured in some way to move kids through and out of services quickly. It's a really tough situation to be in, but we've found that going through private speech therapy (as well as OT) was so much more beneficial for our ds in the long run - we were able to find an SLP who understood our ds' specific challenges (which weren't typical for a school SLP) and we were also able to get him help he truly needed even though he didn't technically fall low enough in ability to qualify through school. This is a place where that "life plan" vs school needs falls in - you may need to seek out services for what your child needs outside of school.
Re getting services for speech or OT services at school - our experience in our school district was that the guidelines for qualifying were very well defined, and a child had to meet the criteria or there was no hope of getting services. We found that calling our local parent advocate office was extremely helpful in learning the ins and outs of school district and state policy re services - and that helped us in turn know whether or not something our ds needed was worth time and effort fighting for through the schools. I suspect that's what your ds' OT meant when she said he wouldn't qualify for OT through the schools - the OTs and SLPs we've worked with privately were all very knowledgable re school district policy for services because they'd either worked with the district at some point in time or because they were serving a large number of clients who didn't meet the school district criteria but still clearly needed help.
"The neuropsych recommended that he keep getting speech." I would ask your neuropsych if he/she thinks your ds will qualify for speech services through the school district, and if so, does he/she think the school district services are adequate.
Re the IEP - your ds should be able to qualify for an IEP under OHI (otherwise health impaired) due to his TBI.
Good luck advocating - it can be overwhelming at the grade level and age your ds is right now -
polarbear
