First, to me, it seems like you just don't like this person. That she rubs you the wrong way.
I am not there, but I think you may be over-interpreting her questions. I often ask questions about curriculum because when I home school, there are so few other parents of gifted children to talk to. I don't know why you wouldn't just be straightforward and matter of fact about your child's curriculum, instead of imagining that she will respond poorly.
I also think you have no ability to tell if her child is HG, PG or whatever level of G. As someone who works with gifted kids (certified EC-6, gifted) and has one HG, one PG child according to WISC-IV, it is very difficult to know what level a child is unless you take time to spend with them, test them, see what their milestone history is, etc.
I would either, decide she irritates you and not associate with her, or give her the benefit of the doubt and share information with her. I think their is a chance you are participating in the competition part and perhaps you need to be honest with yourself about it.
