cdfox, unless this is someone who is important to you in some other way in your life, is it really necessary to continue a relationship? I've run into parents like this in a few different types of situations - not only with comparisons of levels of giftedness or academic achievement. Usually the people I've had this issue with are insecure in themselves (at least that's how it seems to me). There hasn't been anything I could do to change who they are, so instead I simply try to focus on including the people who I care about in my circle of life and ignoring people who are annoying to be around.
If she's someone who you care about and want to help in some way, I think I'd simply head off any further questions or conversations about this by suggesting to her that your recommendation is for her to have her dd tested - that will give her guidance in her dd's strengths and weaknesses and help her put together a homeschool program direction that will maximize her dd's achievement. I'd leave it at that, and change the subject when she asks questions about your ds. If she wants to hang out with you and you like hanging out with her, focus on going someplace interesting and interactive for your kids. You can also switch conversations from reading levels etc by bringing up interesting videos you've watched or places you've visited or hikes you've taken - things that will spark the creativity or imagination or capture the intellectual interest of any child. And if none of that works and you still want to hang with her and she's still making comparisons, be flat-out honest - let her know that you don't want to discuss your ds' homeschooling with her. You don't have to bring levels of giftedness into it, just be honest - you'd rather talk about other things.
Hang in there!
polarbear
