After the waitress left the table DD turned to me and said, "Why did she say I was adorable? Can't she tell that I'm a bad girl?"
One of our most powerful motivations for helping DS with both his anxiety and his behavior issues was that by 2nd grade he had well internalized the idea that he was a bad person. He had some teachers who really made this a big problem. He was miserable.
Finding out the name for his neurological difference was extremely important for him-- the other available names (weird, bad, disruptive...) were really not good. Once he knew that it wasn't his fault that he was struggling, he was so relieved, and we could work together to make things better for him. Frank talk about challenges, including their names, is very important IMO.
I don't see this form of labeling a disability as pathologizing at all-- DS definitely sees it as being aware of a difference, and learning to not let the difference hold him back.
DeeDee
