For instance, the other day she was being a royal PITA about an arrangement we had made to switch cars so that she would ride up somewhere with her father and ride back with her grandparents, while her brother did the opposite. She decided she didn't want to do the switch on the way home, and argued our ears off with reasons why this was all right and we should change our plan (her brother did not wish to change the previously arranged plan).I finally got her to tell me what was at the root at this after oh, 15 minutes of angry protestations, but I had to pry it out of her. She had heard an offhand remark, not intended for her, about how her grandfather didn't know the way and didn't have a map, and was therefore worried he would get lost (she hates being lost). Once I was able to adequately reassure her that this was not a concern, no issue remained and she switched cars.
But she DIDN'T TELL ANYONE THAT THIS WAS THE PROBLEM!
I see this (through my ASD lens, of course) as a blend of anxiety and a perspective-taking glitch. She did not seem to know what information you needed in order to understand how she felt. We have this issue routinely; DS10 is gradually getting better at understanding that certain pieces of information are missing from other people's heads, and that if he offers those, things in his head make more sense to the people around him, but it hasn't been straightforward, and we've had a lot of incidents like this...
DeeDee
