Originally Posted by Zen Scanner
Also, since perfectionism type anxiety often has some self-loathing mixed in, punishment can also be a relief because it reinforces self-concept. Doing things at the last minute also means you can blame failure on the procrastination.

so true! with my kid, the key to cutting through the perfectionism turned out to be explaining how much more her brain grows when she makes a mistake, vs. when she gets something right vs. when she doesn't try. her true currency is apparently her own development (!)

it's not a panacea, but it has significantly improved the cop-outs in the past few weeks and we're hoping it will eventually translate into a new sense of resilience and thereby reduce the self-loathing, which is just... the worst.

Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.