I raised three of them, and there were days I really wondered if I was ever going to get through it. It is relentless and exhausting. I was a stay at home mom, as well, and while I loved every moment of it and don't regret the choice at all, I also know how tough it is to constantly be "in the trenches" with no "valid" excuse to get a needed break.
A few thoughts and tactics that helped:
Negotiate, bribe and reward. Seriously. I continually negotiated with my youngest when I couldn't take the talking anymore. "Ok. Tell me this, and then you have to stop talking for 20 minutes. After that, we will get a small treat for you while we are at Target." No one else would understand that kind of negotiation, but it worked. He would negotiate two things, I'd agree, he'd tell me his two things, and then he'd live with the agreement and be quiet. I used this A LOT when we were in the car running errands.
I hit the garage sales for audio books, and kept a "reading station" at their little play table in our family room. Books, audio books, kid-friendly CD player with headphones. Yes, we threw a lot of broken and scratched cc's away, but they hadn't cost much in the beginning. I also kept a supply of crayons, paper, those horrid little workbooks they sell at Walgreens, etc. None were used for their intended purpose, but they kept the kids busy for a while where they were in plain view of me in the kitchen.
Keep glue, scissors, paste, etc. out of reach in a cabinet that they don't know you use. If they do, they'll wait until you're busy and then get it themselves.
If you have someone to watch the kids one evening a week, take a class, whether it is a craft, a continuing ed class, a cooking class or an exercise class like dance, yoga, etc. just make sure it is something that sparks your passion. I took enough cooking classes that I ended up getting paid to work as the Chet's assistant during the classes and got them free that way. They really helped me keep connected to the "world outside of being mom".
Exhaust them. Take them on loooong walks outside in good weather, in the mall in bad weather. My gifted kids had such intensity that it was really hard for them to get to the end of something - a passionate interest, a project, a sport - so I finally gave in to the whole intensity and helped them exhaust themselves either physically or intellectually. They were happier, more at peace, and I got some quiet time while they spent quiet time regenerating their batteries. In later years, I enrolled them in rock climbing because it exhausts them mentally and physically. All of them have said what they loved most is that they couldn't think about anything other than how to make the next move on the wall and that it was one of the few activities that required their full physical and mental attention, giving them a much needed break from their own intense thinking.
The computer is your friend. I know a lot of people don't agree, but I couldn't answer all their questions or participate to the intensity they needed when they found a new passion (dinosaurs, archeology, space, ...), so we put serious parental controls on a computer in our family area and let them explore away.
Talk to them at the level they need, not what your friends think is appropriate. I talked to my kids like they were adults when it came to reasons (because Mommy said so NEVER worked in our house), but kept the content appropriate for their age (no adult topics) and remembered that while their vocabulary might be way beyond their years, they were still wee ones on the inside that needed appropriately protected and nurtured. But I never dumbed things down.
Hope this helps. I'd like to say they get less intense, but mine didn't. They just got more self-reliant and self-sufficient.
Last edited by ABQMom; 02/25/13 08:02 AM. Reason: One more thing ...
