DS14 has been diagnosed with CAPD. He cannot follow multiple people talking at once, needs to have things explained to him again in class, has real trouble understanding accents and has trouble hearing in gyms or swimming pools because the sound bounces around. He has that "Huh" look on his face in social situations because the talk flies by so fast. He had lots of ear infections when he was young.
In my opinion, people with CAPD often have anxiety because they get teased about being confused, and may look spectrummy even if they are not. Of course, you can have CAPD and be on the spectrum. My son has excellent theory of mind, but avoids social situations if he doesn't know the people. He has good give and take in conversation if he is comfortable with people.
He had his hearing tested by an audiologist with special training in auditory processing. He is on the 5th percentile for hearing in noise. The last few years he used an FM system (microphone for the teacher and earphones for him) to listen in class. This year, he hardly used them due to logistical problems in a large high school. Hopefully next year, it will be easier to get the FM system before class.
To me, your daughter sounds like she has some CAPD issues. My son also has dyslexia, so spelling is creative and phonics are still shaky, but he reads well (silently) and has excellenet comprehension. There are 4 types of CAPD, if you want to research it further.
