With my kids, I have a general rule about knocking other people's work. If they say they hate something, I remind them they don't prefer it and maybe ask what do you prefer. In regards to an assignment, they have written negative remarks about a book or story. My expectation for them is that they do so thoughtfully. I think it actually helps develop their critical thinking skills. We have all read a book we didn't like or saw a painting that we thought was not very good. It's an opinion. I try to talk to them about valuing someone else's work even when they don't enjoy it. I remind them not everyone loves all of their work but it still has value. I have them find a positive in the work maybe a well developed character or writing style. I think it's ok for him to say he didn't enjoy the stories, but maybe write about the positives he can see despite not enjoying them.
I think the filter is something they learn over time if they struggle with it. My dd was born with a filter and her brothers not so much:0 I use every situation as an example of a filtering. It's an important skill for them to be direct and yet mindful of their words. Life is tough if you don't know when to filter yourself. It's hard for GT kids sometimes to learn just because they can work at adult levels doesn't mean they can say anything to adults. I try hard to be mindful of what I say and sometimes I use that as an example for them. I'll tell them after a situation was over... Wow that was hard! I want to say XYz but I needed to say ABC. I'll talk about how it was the respectful thing to do or why the outcome of XYZ would have been negative, etc.
I have 3 skillful negotiators in my house. When they try to tell me it follows the rule or expectations because... I will shut down the loophole reasons. Especially, when the intention or expectation was understood by them. If he understands what the teacher is looking for then, I would expect him to do it to the best of his ability. Given the dysgraphia the answer will be shorter. If she has a problem with the shorter answer, I would have a meeting with her about reasonable expectations for him.
Good luck with this... It's always something with kids, isn't it?
