ABQ, my DS is this kind of a thinker too.
And so I tried to explain the difference between casual conversations and written essays and how some things aren't appropriate in one setting that are okay in another.
His response? Then can somebody please give me a list of what is not ok to write? How in the world am I supposed to know?
The big disconnect here is that he doesn't understand what teachers expect. There is a pretty narrow range of expectation; they can be vague in giving assignments because they assume the kids all know what they expect. But your DS clearly doesn't.
You can start by briefing your DS on what teachers want and expect to read. That you can look at the size of the space they gave you on the paper, and judge how much to write (fill most of the space). That if they ask an opinion question, they still want it expressed in formal language, and in paragraphs, and with examples from the stories. If the opinion can't be expressed using examples from the stories and civil languge, pick a different opinion. And so forth. This will take practice.
The larger question (knowing what's expected by others in all circumstances) is addressed pretty well in Michelle Garcia Winner's "Think social" curriculum-- she explicitly teaches that if you do things that others aren't expecting, they get upset, and she literally goes through and tells the student what's "expected" and "unexpected" behavior in particular situations.
I feel for you and him. It's a lot of work to sort this stuff out...
DeeDee
