Ultra, I'm sure the standardized tests by specialists will help you sort it out. See if you can make sure they do the ADOS-- it's relatively systematic and provides a way to measure "spectrumish" behavior. It's not perfect, but it's much more useful than lists of symptoms for ruling ASDs in or out, because it seems to look at the overall aggregate of symptoms.

Sympathizing with you on the confused part... for sure...
DeeDee