We have brainstormed a TON of different options over the years-- but she's also a very strong-willed and determined little creature. In other words, we're in some ways providing 'drag' as far as we are
able...
luckily, we're in a good location (geographically) to have this be a smooth transition for her. She
can live at home and attend community college coursework at 14, 15... and then smoothly transition into an excellent public university (and even transfer credits directly-- the two institutions have virtually 100% reciprocity arranged) for an undergrad degree.
We aren't too concerned about
where she does an undergrad degree, and we know several homeschooling families locally that have had their kids follow that same path beginning at 13-15 years old. So there is some precedent for it.
While
I would like it better if DD didn't graduate from high school until she's 16 or so,
she would never in a million years tolerate that. Honestly, we've done pretty well to slow her down as much as we have, and it has definitely not been easy since both she and the school have wanted to accelerate her at least one more year. As parents, we said "NO. Really-- just... NO." We are somewhat hopeful that we might be able to convince her to do a gap year.
Dorm living in her case would be virtually impossible even if she were chronologically more typical, just due to the nature of her disability. Pragmatically, I mean. Oh, sure, I'm pretty savvy on the legal aspect of things, and we *could* no doubt extract accommodations to make a dorm placement possible... but there's what looks good on paper, and then there is what happens in reality. Call me a cynic, but we've learned that it's generally wiser to anticipate that others
will make mistakes, and that in light of that, it's better not to give them the chance. It's a part of the management that DD has to learn in order to successfully navigate life with her particular disability. A lack of trust is actually a
healthy thing-- as bizarre as that seems. Fortunately, her executive function is not at all delayed. Long explanation, and vague, I realize-- but 'disability' here is completely
medical and episodic in nature; the real problem is that she's always
vulnerable to the actions of those around her.
She's fortunate that DH and I both have professional experience in a variety of environments in academia-- so we have good insider info and better perspective on what's necessary/optional/not recommended as a pathway. DD has also spent a lifetime on college campuses, so she has no difficulty with inappropriate conduct in the environment.
DYS is absolutely an option, however.
