Granted, by looking around and seeing other Gifted people at my job, I worry that I'm actually 2e and that's why I feel like I don't fit...or perhaps (I know my IQ but I hate to talk about it) that I am MG and therefore, even being surrounded by Gifted people, I am still out of place.
((hugs))
First of all - It's great that you have some kind of IQ score, do you happen to have the subtest scores? It's possible that you aren't fully 2E, but have some significant scatter and some significant bottlenecks. You may average out to MG, but still have some serious intensity going on.
Remember too, that many of us struggle with perfectionism, inner directed and outer directed, which robs us of being able to enjoy 'pretty good' when we can imagine 'fabulous' so clearly.
I will say that when I first learned about giftedness, I cycled through some mild depression, but that a combination of learning more about 'care and feeding' of myself and getting my son into a better fit school situation has really reduced that over the years.
There is tremendous variability amoung gifted people, so it doesn't suprise me that you don't enjoy every gifted person you meet. I think that main thing is to find one or two friends you can really be yourself with, and have a bunch of folks who understand what you are going through.
We could be your bunch!
Keep your heart open to find your one or two.
And in the meantime, be kind to yourself when you get grumpy and down. Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintigration talks about how it's healthy and important to adult development to have low periods when one is open to the call of wanting more.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
