I just wanted to add to your difficulties :-) by playing devil's advocate and pointing out that it's not very surprising if, on a GT board, you find a preponderance of people suggesting you give highest priority to your son's GT needs! I rather hope you're also posting about this dilemma on a good ASD support board, assuming there is such a thing?
Concretely, if you do decide to spurn Cozy Middle AS and wait in the hope of a G&T middle place, I'd suggest writing a very nice letter to the director of the AS programme there mentioning all the things you were impressed by, and saying that it was a really difficult decision which you've agnonized over, but that (really carefully word this bit!) in the end you felt that G&T middle would be in a better position to meet your son's other special needs, viz. giftedness. Couldn't do any harm, and might possibly help you if you were later trying to to get him in there.
