Thank you for posting this article, Grinity. I found it very comforting. Tolan forced me, once again, to really consider both the path of my childhood trajectory (over which I had little control), and my adult choices.

In my case, I have found that although I have developed a thriving social persona and consequent network in which I play to the mean (deviants of any kind, even standard deviants, are little tolerated in most social spheres), I cannot play the role internally for any length of time. Thus, it is imperative that I spend at least part of my "Roni Time" gluttonously indulging in my personal areas of expressionistic freedom.

I am quite linguistic and aural by nature, and if I don't spend an hour or two writing, reading great lit, or dissecting the exact placement of a particular vocal riff in a musical genre study, I find myself becoming listless and morose; I will be frozen by a tragedy I see in the news or will feel numerous chastisements well up from within about not tending to some or other distant relationship within my social circle.

I suppose pursuing my areas of giftedness (which manifested themselves early and were encouraged as private, familial pursuits and which my parents believed were not to be confused with the import of social conformity forced upon me by public education) acts an emotional release from the sensitivities to which I still am prone.

It may be because by studying and creating these things I find so lovely and fascinating, I am bringing beauty into the world. Such an effort, small though it may be, buffers and comforts me against the colder realities of humanity and our experiences. Beauty is a balm, a remedy, a joy. It is both a great relief and release.

Thanks for asking!

Last edited by Roni; 02/06/10 02:33 PM.