Good point, Indigo. Thanks for pointing out to all these activities.

I used to do some photography when I was a bit younger, which I actually enjoyed a lot. I have also been a guitarist in a band, and have recently discovered that I might be actually able to play (basic) jazz music, which I had thought to be impossible before.

I also like to cook, though I must admit that I haven't managed to make it a habit lately. I am also fortunate to have a small garden down my balcony, which is a rarity here in the center of the city and have a few vegetables and herbs growing. I even was involved in designing and building a community garden at university. I enjoy nature a lot and have even nearly sent an application for studying environmental science when I was 23.

I though sometimes have trouble to find the right measure in such hobbies. Like a lot of things I do, they tend to "have to turn" into a performance. I "have to become excellent at it", or else "I have failed".

It has been the center of therapy to understand that I cannot be excellent at everything I do. I am still in the process of understanding that it is possible to enjoy doing little things for their own sake, without having to be excellent at it. In the last months I have therefore been feeling grumpy -> "pff.. so boring.. just playing 15 minutes of guitar is nothing compared to being a great jazz musician". But I guess this is part of the process smile.

Developing a sense of thankfulness, which has been a recurring concept in your responses here, is probably one the ideas that will help to continue getting out of this strange sense of frustration and cynicism.