...thoughts like "he would have been a better father if he had felt more fulfilled as a person".
There is a saying which may apply here:
"In a perfect world...!"
providing me with opportunities that he didn't get
...
turn all that he gave to me into a good life, and I will have plenty of opportunities and ways to give back.
At some points, when it feels right and would fit naturally into the moment, you may want to thank him and express your gratitude and appreciation for opportunities he has provided for you. Hearing this from an offspring's heart now and then, may be very meaningful to a parent.
As you continue to make decisions along your life path, please recognize that having one or more positive options to consider is a wonderful privilege to be grateful for. It can be a life's work just to secure opportunity for one's offspring. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons there are many in the world who do not have a positive opportunity or option before them... much less a choice of positive options. Please do not create a weight or pressure on yourself in imaging that you must accurately forecast the
optimal path. There are few catastrophes if one looks to find the benefits in each path taken, and focus on those. Even so-called setbacks present learning opportunities, spark self-reflection, introduce the possibility to learn and develop new skills, meet new people, and/or make a lateral move.
What many/most parents want for their child(ren) is for them to cultivate the ongoing ability to experience happiness in life, stability, security, resilience. For many/most parents, their offspring's happiness is what signals success in life... much more than the offspring achieving eminence or excelling in any particular field.
Other forum members may have great tips and advice on analyzing the options before you now. I have only a few sayings echoing in my mind about scientific research in general:
- Science is never settled.
- Correlation does not mean causation.
