The need for help is what drives my interest!!
Should we move elsewhere?
There is so much useful information within just this topic. Indigo has so many great links. I'll read them all but for now if anyone has the time to read my plight which I realize is a good one to have but is overwhelming me with indecision.
I'm not savvy with many abbreviations but I'll get there. My DS7 is a Davidson scholar mainly so my husband and I could ask for advice. We live in a small town
3 hours from NYC that has many wonderful charms once the summer crowds leave. There is only one school (pre-k-8th grade) and the kids and families are kind
and friendly and everyone has known each other since nursery since there is only one nursery to go to. My husband and I moved here from NYC when DS7 was an infant. We've been taking it year by year unsure if it was where we should stay since the year round life is somewhat limiting. In the passing years we've spent chunks of time in San Francisco, Chicago and Austin. And have spent time observing life in Brooklyn & DC where we have friends with young children.
Each time we think that maybe those "more to offer cities" are where we should be
until we return to this small town life and find the peacefulness and simpleness a relief to our son's nervous system and to ours. To a point that is.
The school has very generously appointed our son with his own math teacher. That teacher is fairly open minded and willing to teach the curriculum that we design. He would follow his GO math curriculum otherwise. So as grateful as we are to have him we do have to manage the work and homework so it remains engaging.
The school does not have a gifted program nor faculty experienced with gifted learners but it has created for us one period twice a week that they refer to as enrichment for my son and 2 other kids. He's given a session once a week with the school counselor another session with the speech pathologist and one more with the school psychologist. Those pull outs began when we realized how much more he connects when he's conversing one on one with adults as opposed to sitting in his classroom. The speech session and psych. session has him interacting with one or 2 other kids. Typically I'd be against so many pull outs but in our son's case they make him happy and frankly he's not really getting much out of his regular class. His reading class is somewhat of a joke but he reads so much at home we've become complacent after many unsatisfying meetings with his current reading teacher. The school is trying and the time they allot to our son I think is very rare for a public school but is it enough? Would he be better served in a gifted school or a progressive private school? Would he connect more to like minded peers?
He has known his peers for 6/7 years and considers them all his friends and they all are inclusive and engaging with him but he has no interest in spending any time with any of them. As the children mature they seem to be forming friendships as opposed to the whole class mentality and because ds7 has no interest in getting to step 2 with anyone they don't seem to either. I was so committed to helping my son connect to someone I held weekly playdates at my house only to find my son smiling and sitting alone doing a puzzle. He wanted the kids over but didn't want to play what they were playing. Too crazy, too loud etc. I tried every potential social circle in this town that might spawn a relationship but found myself feeling uncomfortable since I wasn't really connecting to the year round families that much.There were a few attempts on his part for a friend connection but it was short lived and sparked little interest. What really made it worse was the birth of my now DS2 and the arrival of an au pair. The thing about it and I hope I'm not in denial is that my son doesn't seem to care or mind that he doesn't spend time with kids when he's not in school. He's invited to parties, nah doesn't want to go. Would rather hang out with his family. Now that he's 7.5 I've backed away from talking him into playdates. We tried a couple different camp experiences hoping he'd connect but nothing. He connected mostly with the counselors.
He says he dislikes school because it's boring and he doesn't like being told what to do. He is never defiant and rarely expressive in school. It's seems like he's in a coping mode while he's there. In K he expressed dislike for all the craziness and loudness. There were 10 kids in his class and 2 teachers. I couldn't have imagined a less loud and crazy atmosphere.
My dilemma is this: Because my husband travels for his work we could potentially live anywhere. Where we live now is peaceful and safe and sheltered away from the competitive lifestyle of waiting lists and applications and high volume options
and choices. But where we are now has very little. Err, none really. We are a good 2 hours away from any actual culture.
I'm torn with staying within our small town life and continuing his home life enrichment and travel ( he misses school more than most) or relocating to a place where he MIGHT connect with a like minded soul and have resources available to him that are now being cobbled together with missing pieces.
Does that better living place exist?
I'm in a race to write this before my little one wakes.
Thank you for reading this far.
ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME.
