We know many people who are less affluent than we are-- and some that (in spite of that) send their children to private schools. Also some that (in spite of that) vacation comparatively lavishly, spend indulgently (in our estimation) on clothing, electronics, etc.
We save a lot. We also spend, but on
other things. Books, hobbies, theater tickets, music lessons, travel, home improvements, etc. I would never in a million years spend $200 for a haircut for myself (it seems to me that the $10 place does fine)... but I'd buy other things, just as indulgent. It's just that the one is important to ME, and the other isn't.
We've always been rather open about that. People DO make choices when they have disposable income. But this is ultimately about
wants... and not NEEDS. We're pretty clear about
that as well. Cable and even high speed internet are, at the bottom line, LUXURY items that make life easier, better, or more pleasant, they are not necessities like an emergency room visit or food to eat.
We have also made it a priority-- in fact, DD has from toddlerhood made it HER priority-- to make life better for those in our community who
lack any disposable income at all. Food insecurity is her favorite of those concerns, but she is also concerned with domestic violence. She puts her money where her mouth is there, donating HER OWN money, and working hard for that money. She knows that she is fortunate in the family to which she was born.
We indulge her. Yes.
We can afford to. We're honest when we cannot, too, and when we WILL not, simply because something doesn't represent (in our opinion and values) a good
value in relation to its expense, or a positive thing in her life (or ours). Museum membership or new Birkenstocks, yes-- tattoo or clubbing to celebrate graduation, no.
We do
not possess a fancy gaming system-- but an older (first-gen) Wii. We bought that mostly so that she would have the social commonality. She has a feature phone that is about three years old, and before that, had a flip-phone that she kept for five years. She does own a collection of, I think, eight or nine American Girl dolls, however, and at least $10,000 in musical instruments.
DD is profoundly
non- materialistic, in spite of our relative indulgence of her. For example, she (just this week) appeared
concerned that her graduation cap and gown would cost $25. She offered to pay for it.
On the other hand, she did
not offer to pay for her target 0.22, which was almost 100 times that
-- but it
was all that she asked for this Christmas, too. Actually, Dad
offered and she gratefully seized upon that offer.
We don't ask of her what we won't do ourselves, though-- our cars (non-luxury models) are 8 and 9 years old, respectively, and we'll likely keep them both another 8 years... DD will probably inherit one of them when she is 18.
So yes, we walk the walk as well as having conversations about this kind of thing. I think that helps.
