cc6 - thank you for your thoughts and experience! You've been through a lot too!
I didn't completely refuse service, I just put the IEP on hold, which means it's still valid for the whole 1 year since we initially had the IEP meeting and signed the plan. So we have till March of next year to figure out what to do next. No matter what, I am planning to always have one foot in the school just for the IEP itself. We'll see what we can accomplish during the summer and my hopes are we can do at least a short speech / OT session weekly through school in the fall but this time I hope the therapists will listen to me more closely when I tell them that certain situations will backfire on them so we don't end up in the same spot as we just did. But I know for sure he will not be ready for their preschool.
Fortunately this time around I know how the system works as I had been through something similar with DS4.9. He had different kind of issues and seeing him we thought he clearly NEEDED the preschool when he aged out of EI but because he was always a big show off during evaluations and loved adult interaction, the evaluation team didn't see the need for more than 60 minutes of speech per week. They did not see the OT issues and his social problems. Between 3-4 years old he loved being with people but when it came down to actually being with more than 3 or 4 people near him, he would go hide in the corner. Could not stand being touched pretty much by anyone and would freak out. Always on a sensory overload. So, we refused the speech back then because in our mind that was not what he needed and he too did not like therapy sessions at all, just like DS3.2 and we waited till 10 months later, did the speech for couple weeks and since another few weeks later we finally had DS's PDD-NOS diagnosis and with the recommendations from the school speech therapist he was finally offered the preschool. But the big difference between the two boys was that the older one really WANTED to go to preschool and we needed public preschool because of his allergies and because of potty training issues. Otherwise we'd had just said "forget it". Now, 6 months since he started the special ed preschool and he pretty much runs the class and is a social butterfly
. His only problem is, when he talks to the other kids, nobody gets what he's talking about. They just give him a blank stare and he goes his way
.
So, with that experience, we have seen a lot can change in a child in a matter of few months and with DS3.2 it's obvious he needs more time to get comfortable with outside world. We are almost certain he will be homeschooled but even then he will be eligible for speech services through the school at the minimum so I do plan on keeping his IEP alive in some shape and form.
