Originally Posted by Mk13
I stayed calm in my email but did let her know I did not agree with the way things were handled and offered to come get him should sometime like this happen again (I offered to come get him should there be issues right from the start back in the fall but they only called me twice due to allergy related issues).

I would actually not tell your DS this offer is on the table, nor would I agree to let school send him home whenever he's upset. Rather, I would want to empower the teachers to know how to help DS learn to calm himself down and correct his own thinking mistakes. You don't want him to learn that if he is upset at school, he gets attention from mom and escape from the situation. You want him to learn to react reasonably and problem-solve in the situation.

Originally Posted by Mk13
Most issues arise when they have substitute teachers / drivers and the routine / rules isn't what he's used to.

There will be more and more of that kind of change in routine over time; he will have to get used to it. I would recommend doing things differently on purpose at home; not all the time, but sometimes, so that he knows that he is still okay if you drive the other route to the store, you shop the store backward instead of forward, you try a new brand of bread or a new recipe, etc. It is not easy to train a child on spectrum to be flexible, but it is probably the biggest investment you can make in their future. People who can sustain relationships and hold jobs mostly do it by flexing some; that is a skill to be cultivated.

Originally Posted by Mk13
He spent all afternoon telling me how sad he was and how he felt this wasn't fair.

It is okay to set a timer and say "I'll listen to complaints for three minutes (or whatever), and then complaining time will be over and we'll move on to something fun."

DeeDee