I find that my DD seems to be very confused about her ability level WRT others. She sometimes says she is not good at anything. This may be her digging for reassurance--I don't know. She knows that she gets straight As and that virtually every school paper is a 100%, so it does seem that she must know she is good at school, but I think she regards her success as soemwhat suspect somehow. Anyway, yesterday we were discussing how hard she is working on an athletic skill and I casually brought up the fact that I loved seeing her work hard on things because I've noticed that a lot of school things come easily to her and don't require her to work all that hard. She immediately agreed, with a sort of relieved tone in her voice.
Confession: she goes to a gifted magnet but I still haven't really explained to her what the word means.
A friend and I were chatting about this very thing recently. I would much rather my child be getting B's and working his hardest than smooth sailing A's that mean he can do work he was capable of 2 - 3 years ago.
There is only false self-validation in being able to show that you can do something that you already mastered ages ago and then receiving high praise for that.
Real self-worth/achievement comes from overcoming obstacles... and feeling proud that you learnt something from your experience. IMO of course
