Good points everyone, including Annette. I seem to just disagree on a few minor points, relating to scope more than general attitude. It seems to me that a good communicator thinks of the likely perceptions of his words-- "good", "bad", with certain contextual knowledge of the the speaker or without, etc.
So, for example, if one has a quite precocious reader and is speaking where it's likely that others with normal or struggling readers know that, the simple fact of mentioning the precociousness is more likely to cause offense than in the absence of specific info about one's child. The information of each message includes the context in which it is spoken and heard. The mention of the precociousness may be explicit, in which it's more likely to be taken as overt bragging, or implicit based on circumstances, in which it may be taken as "stealth boasting".
There are definitely circumstances where I'd agree that probable offense is unavoidable, and when one shouldn't remain mum to avoid it. And there are definitely people who are too quick to take offense, who shouldn't be catered to. I just think that this is an understandably touchy subject for a great many people, and that it's best all around if we try to be tactful. In my experience there are a great many times when a thoughtful person could easily avoid offense that seems to be routinely given.
