I'm always surprised when other people, later, after hearing someone say something, will then report (to other ppl) on what that person's intentions were. Like as if they know or could see into the heart.
Yes, me too. Here's an experience I've had, talking to a friend who has a child older than mine, and I dare say I'm not the only one: at some point, I realised that I could be read as doing one-up-man-ship, because we'd had multiple conversations in which she reported something her child had done, and I responded about mine doing something similar too. Of course, since she was talking about recent accomplishments and my child was younger, this often implied that mine had done this thing younger than hers... I didn't mean consciously to be pointing out that my child was advanced compared with hers, and I see no reason to believe that I meant it subconsciously, either. I frankly just don't have the social processing power to evaluate in real time how something I say is going to be perceived by someone when added to everything I've said in the past and bearing in mind their probable state of mind. It's all I can do to make sure that what I say is both relevant to the conversation and true. Generally if someone gives an example of X from their experience, giving an example of X from yours is safe - so, pitfall.
