I find that listening to others. Really listening. So when they tell you that their dd is unhappy having to go to a special class to get faster at adding talk about how frustrated you would be too. Help her advocate for her dd and encouage her to ask questions and get answers. Make sure she knows that there are a lot of very smart people hwho have the same problem with speed. Also, find something about that child that is above. Like compassion. I never speek of my own dd's compassion. I know that is what she is proud of in her dd. So, she listens to me. She understands that my dd has didffrent needs but we are advocating at the same school and that makes us friends. It helped a lot when the school identified the children and only 7 of them made the cut. Now she knows I'm not just bragging but that my dd really does have different needs and she can't identify, but she can support me. Just like I can't identify with making my dd study math facts or anything for that matter, but I support her being a good mom and advocating for her dd.