DYS DS8 just got his first detention of the year which is way earlier than usual.
Usual? As in, he's routinely getting detention? That has to change.
They need to write into the IEP how they will respond to problem behaviors in a way that keeps him in the classroom, minimizes disruption, and facilitates positive future interactions. Detention (which occurs long after the problem behavior) teaches an AS child nothing-- and will impede his progress toward his goals.
What social skills goals does your DS's IEP have in it?
Is there a behavior intervention plan? I know your DS isn't a kid who seeks violence, but he's getting cornered; however, a BIP would be one way to pin down how teachers are required to proactively prevent these situations, and then respond to them if they fail to prevent them. Read up and give it some thought.
This stuff is complicated-- I would absolutely have the advocate there. Can your outside psychologist help develop a detailed plan? I find that developing behavior interventions is the most finicky thing on my plate-- and having a professional behavior therapist as part of the team, in direct communication with teachers, is an efficient way for them to understand what plan will work and why, without my nagging them directly. (If they are good and well-intentioned teachers. If not, bigger problem.)
My kid is quirky, there is no doubt that he IS in his own dream world of robots, computers, and dragons, but he shouldn't have to endure teasing and lunchbox stealing.
Right. The larger question is why the school is tolerating any kind of taunting of anybody, ever. Our public school has a program of pro-actively trying to develop tolerance among the children; we have asked them to talk explicitly with the 4th grade about DS's disability and ask the children for understanding and tolerance. This worked well for us in the past, though I know that as the kids get older and more conformist it may work less well.
Still, it has the side effect of making all the teachers more aware, and therefore more responsible. You need the teachers who have lunch duty (i.e. ALL the teachers in the school) to be watching for this kind of situation. And you should ask the principal to help you make this happen.
As for the gradeskip, I'm not sure what this incident implies. Our DS finds his 5th grade peers as accepting or even more accepting in some ways than his 4th grade peers, although there is a look-at-the-trained-monkey quality (look what the little kid can do) sometimes that alarms me hugely.
I think any talk of a gradeskip would have to include detailed consideration of the personalities of the kids in the class he'd be gradeskipping TO, whether they are typically a kind group or a mean group, and whether there are kids there who already like him or target him.
Are there peer-buddies you can cultivate for protection? Cub scout pack at the school? Band? Sometimes that sort of group participation buys a little acceptance. I felt that Destination Imagination helped my DS a bit that way, as did Cub Scouts.
Thinking of you,
DeeDee
