Originally Posted by blackcat
In first grade, the girls start getting catty and it may not look overtly like bullying. For a sensitive child, it can be devastating. DD is now 8 in third grade, but starting in first grade the girls got really possessive. She considered one girl a good friend, but so did another girl. The other girl got jealous and made up lies such as "G said she doesn't like you and doesn't want to be your friend." She would tell "G" not to play with DD and G would go along with it. Teachers don't generally notice these kind of interactions.

My older dd also experienced this - actually started in K but by 1st the catty/possessive thing with other girls became full-on and hasn't really let up (she's in 6th now). It has been better in some years (based on which girls are in which class etc)... but it's still present, and it's something I simply haven't ever seen among the boys my ds has been in school with. Teachers not only don't notice a lot of these interactions, when they do notice it's not something they typically choose to deal with - most of the teachers my kids have had approach it these social situations as learning experiences that the students need to work out among themselves. They've erupted a few times over the years in my dd's class to the point that the teacher had to address them, and that's usually helped - but fwiw, the teachers still tend to see it as a girl issue (particularly so as the girls reach puberty and hormones are all over the place!) and not as an overtly bullying issue.

I second blackcat's recommendation of the American Girl books - they've been very helpful to our dd, and she loves them. Very well put together, imo, for girls your dd's age and slightly older.