Sorry so slow to respond to Lori's post about shunning, but I have a few minutes today and wanted to answer.
When my son says he is shunned, he is exaggerating only a little. Adults that don't know him will ask him what sports he plays and when he says that he doesn't do sports, he does musical theater, he just gets a funny look and an "Oh" and that is the end of the conversation, but when they ask the sports kids the same questions, they are treated much differently.
To me "oh" doesn't equate to shunning or anything remotely close to it. I would talk about ways to handle those sorts of conversations. My personal experience has been if you express enthusiasm and happiness about your choices most adults will join with you. So something like "My big thing now is musical theater, I'm going to be in Grease next month. It be at the Elm Street Theater. Have you seen a show there? It is a beautiful theater and we are really excited about it."
My belief is there are interesting and intelligent people everywhere and that includes small towns, rural areas and the South. If you start from the perspective that you are superior to others or that people will hate you because they are ignorant you are predisposing yourself to a life of self imposed shunning. This is an attitude of pessimism that doesn't promote happiness. We have the option to choose to live differently. When you are open to it, I believe you find interesting people everywhere. The grandma down the street may not have gone to college, but if you take the time to listen she may astound you with her knowledge of hybridizing flowers. If you are genuinely interested in who she is and what she's passionate about, you will likely find the same is returned in your direction.
This is not to say that every kid in high school is cool, but my understanding is that your son doesn't go to high school so that should not be a driving force in defining his life.
When I talked my son into trying another church we listened to the preacher say that migraine headaches and chronic pain and high blood pressure are caused by holding a grudge and if we would just forgive whoever we are so mad at we will be cured.
I don't agree with the entire sentiment, but I think anyone who has read any research on the mind-body connection knows there is quite a strong connection. Holding on to negativity doesn't make us healthier and there are reasons to question if it this is healthy way to live.
