Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy what's another way to say you must obey?

Apart from issues of safety (no running into traffic, etc.), we really have only one rule chez Marx: treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves. The golden rule seems to have covered anything that has ever come up around here (and it's simple for me, which is a bonus!); we have fostered both empathy and the sense of family as community in various ways from the very beginning, which has facilitated the implementation of our single rule (I think I've mentioned on other threads our continually added-to "fridge lists" of things we love about each other, kind things we did for someone else today, and so on, and also our hokey family team cheers, which I haven't needed to resort to lately...). We try, too, to extend their sense of empathy beyond the family by involvement in our community. Of course everybody (me included) still has the odd day where they are feeling a bit scratchy, but by and large, peace (although not quiet!!) is the order of the day here. Maybe keeping it simple might help?

peace
minnie

PS no5no5: I wonder if she is feeling ashamed of herself, and is creating some sort of ironic distance, so she doesn't need to feel so bad? I think children at that age are easily overwhelmed by emotion, a fact that seems obvious when we think about anger or fear, but maybe less so when we think about something like pain or shame. Two of my kids when they were about that age got a bit weird when they hurt themselves, and wouldn't accept any comfort, even when they clearly wanted some--when it was obvious to me that they were longing for a hug (but not other times), I'd pretend to stub my toe or something and ask them to come comfort me! That way, they got their hug and got to hang on to their masculine pride at the same time! I wonder if there's a way you could find to help her make a little space inside herself until she gets a little older? I think this kind of thing really does pass with age--give her about a year, I'd say, and she'll be fine--you're doing great!