I would agree with Pass the Potatoes.
Mr W is only 18 mos old, but we have found the last three months that he does MUCH better when we discuss what we are going to do with him. If we try to do something with him that he does not understand, then he goes into hysterics.
Some experts would tell you the idea of explaining something to a child this young is useless and potentially harmful because it confuses them. This logic falls under the 'Neanderthal Man' approach. Toddlers are seen as neanderthals and it is useless to try to reason with them especially if they are in a complete meltdown and even when not in meltdowns the parents should keep it to simple acknowledgments in reference to the child's feelings. I still laugh at this approach and ponder (okay, I know) that my DD clearly bypassed this stage. We have always been able to reason with the child and as she gets older the reasoning becomes more and more complex. Such as tonight, I went to put her to bed, following her set routine. I have noticed that her required routine has been getting longer and longer in hopes to keep me in the room. Tonight was the breaking point. Nothing was working and even a threat of timeout was meet with glee b/c she knew it kept me in the room. (should have saw that one coming.) When I took her out of the timeout she argued that she was not done. I was getting very frustrated and finally walked out of the room and went downstairs; the whole time listening to her screams and cries but let her go on for 5 to 7 minutes. Then I went back up and talked to her. She told me she wanted to go downstairs and I informed her it was not an option. She is the child and we are the adults and she can not dictate when she gets to go to bed. We make that decision and she needs to follow through. (Okay ... a few big words in this conversation but mommy was frustrated.) Then she argued that she wanted mommy to stay in her room and refused to give me kisses and hugs thinking it would keep me there. I explained that no matter if she gives me the kisses or not I will still put her back in bed, walk out and go back downstairs and she could scream all she wanted I would not be returning to her room again tonight. She thought about it and leaned over to give me my kiss and hug; climbed into her spot in bed and then regurgitated my statement about not coming back. I confirmed that statement; told her good night and closed her door. We never heard a peep from her after that.
It amazes me how much they comprehend and this reinforces why I shouldn't treat her like a toddler or better yet: Neanderthal.
