I have also seen many parents let children get away with murder because the kid has a good reason or because they don't want to "damage their relationship" with the child.
I don't think you got my point distinguishing "reason" from "rationalization." To the extent that a child actually has a "good reason," why on earth should that child
not get away with it??? Even the law recognizes that a person with justification is not a murderer. I can't imagine why it would be good to punish a child for doing the right thing, even if it is in violation of an established rule.
I think it is very important that children be taught to question adults. I say that as someone who has close relatives and friends who suffered silently through years of child sexual abuse. No, that does not mean that a child should feel entitled to constantly argue and complain. Obviously there is a difference between a reasonable discussion and just plain obnoxiousness. But to me, teaching a child not to question his or her elders is absolutely setting that child up for problems.
