FrustratedNJMom, Thanks for the tips! I have been careful to include verbal praise and tell DD exactly why I am rewarding her, but I will be sure to mix in the other things you mention as well. Eventually we'll want to cut out the M&Ms.
We have been using time outs, but they have not been working very well for us. I do make sure that when my DD is trying to avoid something, she still always has to do it after the time out. Occasionally I have given her an option, "You can either do X now, or you can have a time out and then do it after the time out." Strangely, this actually seems to work with her. {shrug} I really try to follow through on whatever I tell her...things she needs to do, things I need to do, etc. She can't get out of things just by throwing a fit (but that doesn't stop her from trying). I'm surprised that your DS's school didn't catch on to that issue better.
You are right, I can't believe how fast they catch on and adapt and need changes. I think that is why I ran into trouble using the time outs long past the point that she needed something different.
Grinity, thanks for the link! I will go look at it. It sounds intriguing. Certainly, I want my children to flourish and be able to achieve whatever in life will make them most happy and fulfilled. I know that my parenting will make a difference in a lot of this. Its a huge responsibility, isn't it?
Thanks for the kudos.
My twins just turned a year old, and we are thankfully past the utter survival mode of those first few months. We were very fortunate to be able to have a large amount of help from our parents those first crazy months. My DD loves to play with them, likes to give them their bottle, and even reads to them sometimes. I'd be terrified to have her change a diaper though...who knows where that mess would go, LOL! I love to praise her for her "big sister" skills, and she is really a fantastic big sister. Sometimes she gets overzealous, but she is very kind to them. She still needs that mental stimulation of learning new things. Its all about what's new. This is why I'm chewing my fingernails over starting Kindergarten.
Day Two, still no meltdowns. Yeah! I still need to work on my consistency, but its such a busy household it gets hard sometimes. She did come and ask me today if she could have a M&M for nicely doing something I asked her to do, LOL. I gave it to her happily. The true test will be the next two days with DH back to work after the weekend and having extra work duties this week. {fingers crossed}
