Hi Sdrothco- I don't know if these have been suggested yet but I have been reading "Mellow Out They say if only I could" and also "Living with Intensity" and "The Highly Sensitive Child." These books are really helping me understand our dd differently, and reframe her overreactions, etc.
I too have had no success with time out strategies and have been advised that separating a child with Emotional OE can make the situation worse.
As for always wanting something new to do, this is a constant struggle in our home because what is satisfying to her is the constant learning of new things. Still working on that one! We are also doing the library thing.
We also recently switched to a point system which has worked great and gave her some more empowerment and choice while increasing our dd's responsibilities in the home.
Can you put your dd to work for you with the twins? ;-)
