Hi
I'm with Kerry on this one. This year, after 3 weeks of hell in his first term of a new school where he was grade skipped, suddenly it was wow. No dramas, no melt downs. We get the occasional off week, like now where he has a constant cough (left over from a cold) and he isn't sleeping well and we agree with his teacher that this week if anyone says black he will say white but even this is a far cry from the melt downs we used to get.
He does still play out when there are big changes in the offing but is definitely better able to cope with his feelings and dealing with his anxiety. We had terrible melt downs when he was 4/5 over exact same stuff, didn't want milk on cereal, next day did. Ask what's for breakfast, Mon, Tue, Wed - Toast, wake up Thurs make toast - major melt down don't want toast want cereal! Or - make toast for a week cut into squares, then he wants triangles and it,s all hell on.
In the end we did get a bit of advice from his pysch that he was trying to be in control of everything and did need to learn that he was only 5 and not in control, and also that by making it clear to him that he wasn't in control but had grown ups to make decisions for him and by taking away some of the decisions he had to make (ie not asking him what he wanted for breakfast but just giving him it) actually was better for him as he would then realise that the responibility of decision making wasn't all on him. DH did say that I gave him too many choices and I think because our kids are so bright at such a young age we do treat them more like little adults but as was pointed out to me they might be bright but emotionally they are still very young and by taking away some of the choices and decision making we give them back the security of knowing that the grown ups really are in charge.
I think school probably helps to a degree too (once they get over their initial anxiety) because teachers are very good at giving the message that they are in charge and that at school there are rules to follow and codes to obey and I think that probably helps their security. Well thats our experience, not sure if that helps?
