And as far as your preschool choice I have to admit that has been my opinion on DD and why I chose a playbased school. I have also told my DH that we will go into it openly and if in the first few months we see it isn't a right fit then we will move on. Now I am really curious on what happened with your DS that he was kicked out in a month. If that is too bold and you don't want to share I totally understand but I want to go in with eyes open in know what signs I should be looking for so if she needs to go to a school more in line with Montessori I will be able to make the decision quickly.
Thanks! Obviously every single pre-school is different, but I will share our experience. We put DS4 in pre-k in the fall. We had planned to put him in Montessori but it fell through as the program changed and didn't have a class for his age. So we scrambled and found a playbased program. It had a trampoline, air hockey etc. They had 4-5 year olds as some of the kids came there before going to K in the afternoon. It was fairly unstructured and there was really almost nothing academic or learning related to do, other than some computers. He was supposed to be there daily until 12:30pm. They had no behavior management system in place because "kids have so much fun they don't misbehave" warning...never believe that. I didn't believe it but I thought it might work. So he did great the first week, then he had some behaviors here and there and they never told me about it. I kept trying to get in to meet with them to come up with a plan but they said he was fine and it wasn't necessary. Then one day (after he had been there a total of about 3 1/2 weeks) they left a message on my voicemail saying he couldn't come back. That he would probably need a program where he had a 1:1 aide through special education, even though he was bright.
Then after tears and heartache we regrouped and started him in another program, 3 days a week for a couple hours. He was there 3 months and didn't have behavior issues. They had a behavior management system in place and he followed it. He did act out a little, but they felt it was because they struggled to challenge him and they felt they couldn't keep up with him and that he really didn't relate to the other children. He still played with them and did well socially, and seemed to enjoy going to school...but it seemed like he needed more. We are glad we put him there in some ways because it was a good confidence booster for us and him. They felt he was an amazing child and really missed him when he left. Then we started a montessori program and he has been there 3 months so far and it is wonderful. He has no behaviors there at all. They do say that it is difficult to challenge him still, but it seems they are able to. We recently had him tested and now see that he is a PG child, which explains a lot and makes more sense. We thought he was but didn't realize the extent of it. We now know that when he is not challenged at all, he tends to act out.
So that is our story...even though it is probably longer than you wanted. : ) I have heard that some play-based programs work good for kids though. His second program was fairly play-based, but more structured and it worked okay. It's all about the fit for the child because they are all so different.
