No, Lorel, I didn't feel that way. Perhaps there is some level of unconscious bias towards the male parent I don't really know. Maybe I could say it better this way; If there is it is of no matter to me because at some point the school had to have figured out that I wasn't going away. Did I ever feel that I had been "managed", patted on the head and sent back out to play? Maybe, a little at the beginning. But it didn't really matter because it didn't phase me. I simply aquired the information I needed and went back in. And went back in and went back in. I was never emotional or illogical and I think it's unfortunate that anyone would hold that gender based stereotype in this day and age. My husband, who is brilliant, would have been more likely to become emotional and illogical!!
So if I was successful in advocation I think it would be because:
I did a lot of research and talked to a lot of people.
I treated it like a business meeting even though there really is nothing MORE personal than my children!
I never told them what they should do. I merely stated the problems that were occuring, why I thought they were occuring and asked them: What can you do about this?
I was polite and respectful.
I was persistant.
I never ever beat a dead horse. Each time I contacted the school it was from a different angle with more or new information.
Lastly, I didn't try to change their system. Some may be disappointed that this seems defeatest, some truth to it. I just figured out the system the best that I could and figured out how to make it work for my children.
Admittedly, I get a little snarky at the idea that the lone mom may have less efficacy in advocation efforts. I mean, I don't sit in on my husband's meetings with the C.E.O. to offer advice or moral support!
As a side note, at one of the conferences the teacher spoke directly to me even though my husband was there! She didn't even make eye contact with him!
I really don't direct my snarkiness to anyone here or any comments on this discussion. It's just that the idea that a mom wouldn't be taken as seriously unless "the man" is present just floors me!!!!
No offense to "the men" on the forum.......
