DH's presence helped us with the school. I don't think the man necessarily has to be in the forefront of the conversation, but if he's present and supportive, it might matter.
I know that when I talked, they nodded politely and ignored everything I said, just as they had been ignoring everything I said for a month or more. Then DH said, "Hold it! You're not hearing her!" and said EXACTLY what I had JUST said. Word for word! Suddenly, they all exchanged looks and the school made concessions. It was annoying, but at least it was effective.
I think you use every tool in your toolbox to help your child. If you can whip out Daddy for a meeting (and not everyone can), then I recommend that you should. Even if all he does is nod agreement with everything Mom says, it can't hurt. And schools are generally sexist places--they see moms all day long, but not many dads--so his presence might very well might help.
