Val, I have read and been told by a teacher IRL that it comes from the parents. In fact, my kids are at a school which doesn't have homework until middle school. This is explicitly told to everyone up front, it's part of the philosophy of the school, they screen applicants for parents who are really into homework, and they still get a few parents who are hopeful their kids will get homework and put pressure on teachers about it. A kindergarten teacher at an semi-elite private school told me stories about how much the parents wanted more grades, more homework and more drills, while the teacher had to try and protect the kids and give them a lower stress educational environment.
Howler, go and read about some of those elite colleges and you'll be glad she didn't want to go. They can just be Lexington high school senior.
Hothousing is very easy to spot. For a start, the amount of unscheduled time a child has. Then there's the second guessing the parents engage in. It's really very very obvious.
I don't agree with this. One of my children has more capacity for activities than the other, and may ramp up the intensity of one activity in particular a lot (his choice). The other is more stressed out by commitments. We know some kids here are consumed by their passions. They may not have a ton of free time. And? Obviously, some children are overcommitted against their will, but...
As to second guessing, what do you mean? Second-guessing what? I second-guess my educational decisions a lot because I feel like I haven't gotten them right that often.
Perfect example, I bet you're second guessing yourself all the time about your kid who's into lots of activities - is this too much, are they putting too much pressure on them, what about time for other interests, is there a team/travel program with less time commitment that will still let them progress and work hard etc etc, while the hothousers are saying "great, he's on the travel team, every day for three hours after school, let's get a private coach on Sundays so she can be the BEST!!!" Hothousers are all in, then they double down. Non-hothousers are "honey, you committed to the team, you need to go to practice" and "yes, I can see that your whatever skill needs working on, I can book you into a clinic if you like" and "I hate that he is at soccer so much, but he loves it and there's no other way to play".
I'll buy that they're driven by fear, but I also blame them for not stopping and examining what they're so afraid of. In my opinion they are causing the very thing they are trying to avoid (although, maybe I'm projecting and they're not worried about the things I'm worried about).
