And that brings me to another "frankly" point with respect to the private schools - at least in our area. Your mileage will vary. There are plenty of folks on the private school waiting lists who have IPO riches way, way, way beyond what our family has. The private schools have minimal motivation to work with an asynchronous, quirky child when they can get an easier, richer kid in the blink of an eye. And what sort of student body does that tend to create?
I know these are strong words, but elitism and entitlement are real and truly problematic in the development of children in our area. Further - they actually pop out in surprising and grievous ways that hurt kids on both sides of the fence. The fact that they hurt to hear is not enough of a reason to pretend they aren't a problem. And in all honesty, I do not see the schools even acknowledging, much less addressing, the issue. There is minimal to no attitude of (for want of a better phrase) noblesse oblige.
Again, you're painting all the schools with a brush that's way too broad. I live in NorCal, too. There are literally DOZENS of private schools where I am, and you simply can't claim that they'll take
easy rich kids over quirky ones in the blink of an eye. Respectfully, that is a bad attitude itself and shows a failure to explore the question in depth.
I've had too much experience with different private schools here becuase of schools moving, forcing us to find new ones. I've visited umpteen schools and have friends with kids at private schools my kids haven't attended. The prep schools tend to pile on the homework, as Dude pointed out. The kids I know from those schools don't act entitled; rather, they're stressed and busy. Yes, there are some uber-wealthy people here (say. >0.1%-ers) and some self-entitled types, but their kids are a tiny minority of the school population. Plus, some go to public schools. I knew a guy who was in that category. His child went to a PUBLIC school and the kid felt poor because of the conspicuous consumption by other kids at that school. So entitlement doesn't just reside in private schools.
Between them, my three kids have attended four private schools with one closure and two moves, and not one of them had the outlook you describe. There are many small private schools around here that work with quirky kids like mine. There are 2E kids and ND kids with disabilities at these schools and the non-uber-wealthy parents are thrilled.
Can we PLEASE try to look at the nuances of a situation rather than making broad generalizations? Isn't this what we want schools to do with our gifted kids? If we won't think carefully, why should we expect the schools to?
