That is interesting, because as a lifelong public school educator, in systems ranging from high-resource, upper SES suburban to low-resource, low SES urban, I view sending my children to public school as a last resort, after homeschooling and private school. Maybe this has something to do with having seen behind the curtain.
I understand what you're saying here, but I should point out, my first eight years teaching were in public schools, and I presently spend five days a week as a volunteer classroom/library aide at DD's public school. I have a fair amount of experience behind that curtain as well...
In my experience private schools have all the same issues as public; compounded by inexperienced teachers, under-qualified profit-minded administrators (with little to no educational experience), micro-cultures and cliques of various sorts (the loosely organized groups of rich parents, religious parents, gifted parents, and so on), and more.
If you live in an area that can support a strong, well-reputed private school, chances are VERY good that there are strong, well-reputed public schools nearby. They may not be your local campus, but they're probably not far away.
I live adjacent to what is considered by many to be the single worst, most poorly administered, scandal ravaged, public school system in the country. It drives many in that community to enroll their students in private schools (a few of which I've taught at). But, in that system there are a number of schools that are BELOVED, some of which have Academic Performance Index scores of 1000. And in my small home district, which again is right next to this dysfunctional behemoth, EVERY school is highly rated.
I think the tendency for parents, not just parents of gifted kids, to assume that private schools can better meet the needs of their children, is largely driven by a mixture of fantasy and salesmanship. Having been in the classroom, I see little evidence to support those beliefs.
P.S. As an aside, a personal bugaboo of mine is the current trend at elite private schools to hire unemployed PhDs as teachers. Elite schools love to use the claim that x% of our faculty has a PhD as a marketing draw (I've actually worked at two schools where I was the ONLY faculty member without a PhD; including folks like the PhD theater teacher and PhD P.E. coach). There is nobody less qualified, nobody, to teach a 6th grade class, than the PhD who thought they'd be tenure tracked at an Ivy League university by now...
