I guess my point is that you can't really tell which highly scheduled child is which from the outside, unless you know the parents well. I still cringe when I admit my first grader has a private chess coach...to me, that sounds NUTS.

Regarding college, I attended a relatively prestigious "lefty" liberal arts school with a reputation for attracting kids who are outside the box. There was no grade-grubbing there and the kids were genuinely smart, weird, and motivated (with some burn-outs and drug users, admittedly). It was a very stark contrast from my uptight, grade-obsessed, very wealthy public high school. It is everything I want for my children, especially child #1, who is quirkier (child #2 is more a class president type), but who knows what will happen.