A school system like Lexington/Cupertino/Palo Alto can be a great school for a child. A gifted child in those schools can find many intellectual peers, activities that interest them, and quite often teachers that are highly engaged. It can also be crushing for students that are told they must be at the top of the class. Obviously only a few students can make it to the top, and the rest of the children with tiger parents suffer.
In my opinion, this does not make the school a "hot-house". It makes it a great school where some fraction of the children are hot-housed. My guess is it is the children in the top 20%, but below the top 5% that face the most pressure. The really bright kids will do well anyway without all that much effort. And the ones not in contention for the elite college admissions find these schools just like any other, with the focus being on sports, attracting the opposite sex, etc.
Well, honestly --- I'm not convinced that you're aware of just how toxic the environments at some of these schools are.
Even your estimate of the top 5-20% of kids facing the most pressure isn't as straightforward as it sounds (assuming it's correct). Remember that thanks to grade inflation and tiger parenting, high schools these days can have
multiple valedictorians, with as many as 30 at some. So if, say, 20 kids are number 1, how many are in "the top 20%"?
When he finished 8th grade, my son graduated with high honors and had a 3.7something average, yet was about 1/3 of the way down in his class.
When dozens of kids are in one library studying for AP whatever on random Sunday afternoons in July and complaining to each other about it, it's undeniable that a large number of them are
complying rather than studying because of internal drive. When two 15-year-olds in as many months kill themselves in front of commuter trains, how many others are suffering damaging stress levels that are far beyond what they should be subjected to at such young ages? And, honestly, I'm suspicious of the term "intellectual peers," because the meaning of that phrase is so subjective. Like-minded about Magic or Minecraft? Yeah, sure. Like-minded about the philosophical questions that bounce around inside many PG minds as a matter of course? Unlikely, even in a big high-achieving high school. Most of those kids are too busy just treading water.
