I live in one of those aforementioned districts.
8 years into our educational journey, I have met exactly one hothousing family. However, nearly every parent I meet is pale with worry. All the time.
They are terrified that Johnny can't write essays well enough, can't rattle off his arithmetic fast enough, is struggling to keep up in school, isn't being challenged, or isn't being taught how to do the things he needs to learn - usually at the same time.
They are scared that really hard work won't get an A; they are scared that the assignments aren't hard enough to learn from. They are worried that time spent on homework is not compatible with time spent on practice or competitions leading to national ranking in chess/mathematics/gymnastics/insert sport here. They are worried about the high school all-nighters, the papers due at midnight, assignments due the next day that are only assigned by a post on the class website at 6 pm. They count the number of well-prepared kids that weren't able to attend a 4-year college last year because they got two B's their sophomore year, and they count the number of kids who don't survive long enough to find out.
My little pocket of the world is clearly crazy. Do others find that the primary vibe from the parents at their schools is fear?
YES.
And I'll also add that I've met more than one hothousing family-- but that this kind of
fear is terribly corrosive and contagious.
DH and I even struggled with the idea that our DD was
choosing to apply to NO "elite" colleges. We sheepishly admitted that it was about bragging rights for
us, primarily-- and were able to let it go, somewhat ashamed that it had ever taken root in the first place. It was
her choice, after, all, young or not.
I mention that to note that we're about the least snobby people we know-- if it could get to us, it can get to anyone.
