This is a whole other point Puffin.
I was just sticking to the fact that there are so many reasons that motivate people to behave as they do. Sometimes if we can work that out we have a better shot at communication.
We ask our DD, why do you think someone did that or why do you think there is a different viewpoint to yours? She also does debating so at times is forced to defend an argument she doesn't necessarily agree with. It's a very useful way to get her to understand both sides.
Maybe the kids that like to argue could be funneled into debating!